The Heat of Hell Notes of a rejected workshop from SOF Conference on Science and Religion by Stu Dent A question, which has puzzled theologians for hundreds of years, is how the Hell does it work? Basically, is Hell a source of heat, or does it absorb heat? If it is a source of heat, what is burning? If it absorbs heat, is it actually getting hotter? Technically, is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Does it give out or take in heat? Since there is no Authority, we must turn to religious-science: the Reliance Model. 1. We must assume that if souls exist, then they have some mass, however great or small, which can influence the heat of hell. 2. We must consider the rate at which souls are entering or leaving hell. But here we must assume that once a soul enters hell it never leaves so the leaving rate is zero.
Therefore, we concentrate on the souls entering hell. 3. Now many of the world’s religions state that if you are not a member of their religion you will go to hell.
Since there is more than one religion with that belief and since people do not belong to more than one religion at a time we can safely say that all souls will go to hell. But fear not, this is about the physics of hell, not deciding your soul’s destiny. 4. With current birth and death rates, we can expect the number of souls entering hell to increase enormously. 5. We must also consider the volume of hell. Apart from it being infinitely bigger than heaven, since everybody goes to hell, and remembering Boyle’s Law from school science, for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the balance of the mass of souls and the volume of hell must also stay the same.
So we reach two possible outcomes with serious implications for global warming: On the one hand, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls are cramming into hell, then the pressure and temperature will increase until all hell breaks loose. On the other hand, if hell is expanding at a faster rate than the speed of souls entering hell, then the pressure and temperature will drop until hell freezes over. So there we have it: totally – and safely – inconclusive.
Notes of a rejected workshop from SOF Conference on Science and Religion