Carol Palfrey, Norwich Gay Rights Equalities minister Lynne Featherstone proposed lifting the ban on gay partners having ‘proper’ marriages, fulfilling the ‘equalities manifesto’ that Theresa May said the Conservatives would launch in government, and the government still intends to introduce same-sex civil marriage by the next election.
Bishop Gene Robinson of New Hampshire was recently on BBC Today. He had a snowstorm of disapprobation when he was elected bishop in 2003.
He said there was but one tenth the disapproval for the gay woman bishop, Mary Glasspool, consecrated in 2010, one of many women elevated in the American Episcopal Church. Now sexual issues are out in the open they mainly remain problems for older folk.
Bishop Robinson said that people under thirty have already sorted gay issues, since they all know gay and lesbian people who have lives to live, jobs to hold down and leisure to enjoy. Older folk may not know many gay people.
Although I number myself among the older folk, I can vividly remember my first serious contact with a gay person. My wife and I often visited our friend Gwen in Woodford. Gwen taught in a tough school near West Ham FC. One Saturday morning as we approached her door, a young man came crashing out shouting, ‘And make sure you’re on the pill by next weekend.’ We tiptoed in. Our day began with tears and coffee. Gwen never saw him again. When we moved home we kept in touch with Gwen. She had been a kind and generous friend. We exchanged the usual cards and occasional visits. Two years on, a letter arrived from Gwen: normal news followed by the shock, ‘I’ve finally had to admit to myself, my family and my friends that I’m gay.’ We had no idea that Gwen was gay. Sadly, Gwen had ended her letter with, ‘Will you still be my friends?’ I recalled with embarrassment the silly schoolboy language I had once used when I knew no gay people.
Time went by until I met an elderly doctor at a conference. On day one we had to introduce each other to the assembled gathering, using information we had gleaned from the other in a two-minute disclosure. Bill included the bombshell that he was gay.
It was the only gleaning I had ringing in my head as I introduced him. I think he knew it!
We kept in touch with Bill. We learned more. He had once been a young soldier and had fought in Battle of Singapore until the inglorious surrender in 1942. He became a prisoner of the Japanese in Changi Jail. He helped to build the real Bridge over the River Kwai. He survived the torture and returned to Britain.
He trained as a doctor, specialising in psychiatry and then psychotherapy. He became a pacifist and as our acquaintance grew into friendship, I began to think of him as a surrogate father. He was weak of body but he was probably the strongest and mildest man I have known. Other gay friends emerged among some of the people with whom we mixed, teachers and nurses, none flamboyant, just normal people living normal lives, although curiously no clergymen, despite the rumours.
Meanwhile, the Christian world was fighting the usual rearguard action on all sexual issues, employing outdated weapons: the dozen or so biblical references to homosexuality, making them say what they wanted them to mean today; church tradition, which is just that, past ideas which most of us note with curiosity as we pass by. It is with credit that Rowan Williams has held the Anglican Communion together during his ten years in office, but with discredit to the church that it has barely allowed him to show his real abilities and prevented him speaking with his own voice as it shouts the old arguments at him.
Now we have the politicians upholding gay marriage in addition to gay civil partnerships, which have been legal since 2004, following the public voice, which, in opinion polls over the last ten years, have gradually shown its increasing acceptance of gay marriage.
So there it is, except for Gwen. Having faced down nasty prejudice she’s now Deputy Head in another tough London school, still near West Ham. She still has a life to lead, a career to complete, leisure to enjoy, just like anyone else as she nears retirement. We’re proud of her and proud still to be her friends.
R adio Rockall Alison McRobb reviews Leaving Alexandria By Richard Holloway Canongate Books (Edinburgh 2012). Hbk. 368 pages. £17.99.