SoF Magazine No. 25, April 1996 WHAT IF... : THE WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL PRODUCER SAID TO YOU, ‘| AM MOUNTING MY BIGGEST PRODUCTION AND YOU ARE IN IT. ‘THERE WILL BE NO AUDITIONS. | ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO AND | LIKE YOUR WORK. THERE ARE NO BIT PARTS OR CAMEOS IN THIS PLAY FOR EVERY ROLE IS A LEADING ROLE, EVERY PART IS A SUPPORTING PART, AND EVERY APPEARANCE IS A SPECIAL APPEARANCE. ‘THIS 1S A HUGELY SUCCESSFUL PRODUCTION WITH ROAD COMPANIES ALL OVER THE UNIVERSE. EVERYONE WILL STAR IN THE PLAY WHETHER THEY WANT TO OR NOT. SO WHY NOT MAKE THE MOST OF IT? YES, YOU ARE A STAR AND | AM BEHIND YOU ONE HUNDRED PER CENT. ‘NOW THERE ARE A FEW THINGS YOU SHOULD REMEMBER AND THESE ARE NOT NEGOTIABLE — SO DON’T SEND YOUR AGENT AROUND TO ME, | ONLY DEAL WITH PRINCIPALS. THERE 1S NO PLOT, AS THE PLAY IS NOT YET WRITTEN. THERE WILL BE NO REHEARSAL — WE ONLY DO THIS ONE TIME. THERE WILL BE NO DIRECTOR — YOU WILL DIRECT YOURSELF AND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW IN ORDER TO DO THIS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT A SCRIPT, FOR YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TO SAY AND IF YOU NEED TO SAY SOMETHING JUST BE QUIET AND LISTEN — I’M THERE. ‘MY CASTING, AS ALWAYS, IS PURE GENIUS. YOU MAY CHOOSE THE CHARACTER YOU WISH TO BE AND CREATE THE ROLE AS YOU GO ALONG. AND REMEMBER, IF YOUR CHARACTER IS NOT PERFORMING AS YOU WISH, YOU MAY RE-WRITE THE ROLE IN ANY WAY SO LONG AS YOUR CHARACTER DOES NOT WEAKEN THE OTHER CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY. ‘I URGE YOU TO CONCENTRATE NOT ON ACTING L/KE BUT ON BEING THE CHARACTER YOU CHOOSE TO CREATE.
AND, WHATEVER YOU DO, MAINTAIN THE INTEGRITY OF YOUR CHARACTER. SPEAK CLEARLY, DON’T KEEP BUMPING INTO THE FURNITURE AND TRYING TO REDO THE SETS, YOU'LL ONLY HURT YOURSELF. BESIDES, IT TOOK MILLIONS OF YEARS TO DESIGN THAT SET AND IT WORKS PERFECTLY. ‘DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE OTHER CAST MEMBERS, FOR YOU WILL FIND THEM AS GOOD AS YOU FIND YOURSELF TO BE. THERE WILL BE NO REVIEWS AND NO CRITIQUES FROM ME. IF YOU WANT A REVIEW YOU WILL HAVE TO WRITE IT FOR YOURSELF. BUT FOR MY SAKE DON’T LET SOMEONE ELSE DO IT! ‘DURING OUR RUN, YOU MAY PRESENT YOURSELF WITH EVERY REWARD YOU THINK YOU DESERVE — EVERY RECOGNITION YOU WANT. THERE ARE PLENTY, SO HELP YOURSELF. | DON’T DO TROPHIES. YOU WILL ALSO DECIDE WHAT YOUR COMPENSATION IS TO BE FOR THIS ROLE; JUST LET ME KNOW. ‘OH YES, THERE ARE NO UNDERSTUDIES AND NO TIME OFF. NO ONE ELSE CAN EVER PLAY THIS PART YOU CREATE BUT YOU, SO BE SURE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH THE CHARACTER, AND KEEP IT FOCUSED. IT MAY OR MAY NOT BE A LONG RUN, BUT IT WILL BE THE LONGEST RUN YOU'LL EVER HAVE. AND — YOU WON'T LIKE THIS BUT | HAVE TO TELL YOU — THERE IS NO STAGE MANAGER. SO IF YOU MAKE A BIG MESS YOU'LL HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP YOURSELF. BE SURE AND LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH IT.
BY THE WAY, THE TITLE OF THE PLAY? | CALL IT YOUR LIFE, AND THE CURTAIN, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, HAS ALREADY GONE UP. YOU'RE ON! IN FACT I’VE BEEN GIVING YOU YOUR CUES FOR YEARS NOW. ‘THE ONLY PROP YOU GET TO USE IS YOUR OPENING NIGHT GIFT. DON’T YOU REMEMBER? THE ONE | GAVE YOU WHEN WE FIRST OPENED ON THE DAY YOU WERE BORN? YOUR ABILITY TO THINK! USE IT — IT WORKS IF YOU DO. ‘SO GET OUT THERE AND “BREAK A LEG”, KIDDO. REMEMBER, | LOVE YA.’ SoF Magazine No. 25, April 1996 ———— ——— a — ls There Room For A Sliver Of Reality? | ‘The Sliver Strikes Back .