James, the brother of the Lord, reminisces.
He was the eldest son and always our mother’s favourite, although as he grew up I don’t think she found him easy. There was that time when he was twelve, when he stayed behind in the Temple, holding forth to the elders, and she was distraught because she thought we’d lost him. When at last they found him, he rudely discounted her anxiety. Adolescent, with one barb he struck out against Joseph as his father and his home: ‘Why were you looking for me? Didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?’
Then after our father Joseph had died, instead of taking over responsibility for the household as eldest son, Jesus went off to be baptised by John. It was left to me to cope, although I never felt our mother loved me as she loved him. After John was put in prison, Jesus started preaching the kingdom in Galilee. He came home to Nazareth and read from the prophet Isaiah in the synagogue: ‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor…’ Yes, we knew the scriptures but then he went on to claim: ‘Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your ears.’ He seemed to think he was God’s Chosen One to inaugurate the kingdom. An argument started. Then people got up and drove him out of town and tried to throw him over a cliff. But he escaped. Again our mother was distraught. These were people we had known all our lives and they knew us all well, saying about Jesus: ‘Isn’t this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon, and aren’t his sisters here with us?’ And there he was, her own son, making a spectacle of himself.
He went about preaching with some disciples. But they didn’t even bother to keep the Law, as we had always done and I continue to keep scrupulously. They broke the Sabbath, picking corn and he even healed a man on the Sabbath day.
Once we went to try and find him when he was preaching with a great crowd. When we sent a message: ‘Your mother and brothers are outside wanting to see you,’ again he answered in that rude, curt way: ‘My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.’ He dismissed us.
His fame grew and people were saying he cast out demons by the power of Beelzebub. We thought he was out of his mind and went to find him and take him home. But we couldn’t get near him. He had set himself on a collision course and we feared for his life.
I was the sensible one and took care of the family. The truth is Jesus and I never got on — we were like chalk and cheese. Then when the course he had set on — one day he had a fit of rage and made a huge disturbance in the Temple itself, which clinched it — actually led to his crucifixion and total disgrace, he entrusted the care of our mother, whom I had supported all these years, to his so-called ‘beloved disciple’. The final insult.
After his death we, his family and his followers, huddled together for safety. There were stories that he had appeared to people, beginning with Mary Magdalene, who loved him so. Then one day I saw him and he seemed to be saying to me — perhaps what I wanted to hear — that I should take charge. This was only right, as I was now the oldest remaining brother in the family. I did take charge and became the leader of the group in Jerusalem. We went daily to the Temple and kept the Law. There were arguments about that with Peter, and especially with that upstart Paul, and we had to concede that Gentiles who joined the Way need not obey the whole Law. But, of course, I and those with me continued to do so religiously.
Jesus promised that he would return soon. We have all been waiting for him. But years have passed and he still hasn’t come back. Now I have got used to his continued absence, I can’t really say I miss him. Meanwhile, I am the overseer — bishop — of the church of Jerusalem.
This text is considered to be a pseudepigraphon.